3 saying I hate, 3 sayings I love

I am completely annoyed with the human race. One of their most sickening traits is their obsession with uplifting sayings. What pisses me off is that these dumbass one liners are supposed to define life or give you some pearl of wisdom. Instead you're left with cliche, simple minded rhetoric. Some live their life by these mantras. Being my normal bitter, hateful, anti-social, cynical, elitist self admittedly isn't the way to go either. However, at least it's realistic. Life sucks. Turning it into the Hallmark store in the mall just annoys me. If you are one to have a positive outlook and say uplifting things I have one thing to say to you. SHUT THE FUCK UP! Thanks.

That being said, here are my top 3 least favorite sayings:

"Don't Worry, Be Happy"
Every since that stupid song this philsophy has grown like a cancer among simple people. As if it were that simple to be happy. I hate people who will themselves into another mood. They scare the living fuck out of me. All that repression is going to make you explode one day.Simply not worrying about your problems? Wow! Why didn't I think of that? Fucking moron. When someone says this to me, I think of their families charred remains being pulled out of a building. As the coroner is asking them for positive id, I want to turn to them and say, "Hey! Don't worry! Be Happy!"

"It's only money."
Did you ever notice most people who say "It's only money" never seem to have any? Gee, I wonder why that might be. No, it's not only money asshole. It's the only reason I leave my house in the morning and torture myself sitting at a desk for eight hours or more.

Considering I spent most of my day yesterday working on shit I don't give a shit about, I'd say money rates pretty high on the list of priorities.Get away from me with that communist slacker bullshit. Either the person saying it is an idiot, or they get their money from someone else. Either way they fucking suck.Just another example of delusional saying thinking.

"Live with no excuses and love with no regrets"
Without fail you will find this saying on some girls MySpace page. She will have a "pimped out" page for sure. It'll probably be in some really girly or animated font. There is no doubt when she took this image from photobucket, she thought it was a gem of wisdom.Wrong.It's fucking stupid. If I live with no excuses, I have nothing to tell the police when they ask. Excuses rule. For example:"Why did you kill 10 people?""They wouldn't stop coming up with stupid sayings. I impaled all of them with a broomstick to stop them from talking."Perfect excuse.Oh and keep loving with no regrets. I'm pretty sure you'll end up with an STD.


Here are a few sayings I love:

"Fuck it."
This is short, conveys a lot and is realistic. Possibly my favorite saying ever.

"Eat a bowl of dicks."
It doesn't even make sense really, but it's still great. It reminds me of this blog.

"Go fuck yourself."
While it seems like you're telling the person to masturbate, it means so much more